Hi to all,
I am a 46 year old male diagnosed with lupus nearly 4 years ago, Probably 5 years or so prior to diagnosis I had noticed what at the time were subtle changes, i,e, unexplained rashes, getting tired more easily than normal, becoming increasingly forgetful, At first I assumed this was simply just part of getting old, however after maybe two years or so and things only getting worse I sought some help with my then doctor, who only proved to be of no help at all, I must add at this point that I can pinpoint the start of my issues to approximately co-inside with a very stressful part of my life where I attempted suicide and I was diagnosed as depressed and my then relationship was very traumatic, I also had two operations that caused me a lot of distress, Depression and the operations and my bad relationship caused me to have a lot of time off work which on their own was stressful with money worries, Anyway my relationship broke down so we split up and I lodged at a friend's and did not move out of his house for seven months (I was in a dark place), Eventually my friends eased me out of my gutter period and slowly introduced me to a social life where upon I met my now wife, We now live in a different area so I changed my doctor, The change in doctors led me to eventually get my diagnosis for lupus, Since my relationship break up in Jan 2007 I eventually went back to work probably mid 2008 and from that time I found it increasingly harder to hold down my job of a builder, symptoms crept up on me quite slowly to a point that a day's work saw me taking three off to recover, At this point in time I find that anything I do that involves me being more active than just doing nothing has consequences, Chronic fatigue, lethargy, a feeling of lack of muscle control especially in my legs, uncontrollable muscles twitches and spasms, My short term memory causes me great distress, it's very hard to put this into words, I sometimes feel as though I live my life from day to day not knowing what yesterday held, I had to give up work almost two years ago now and trying to find a way of telling the benefits office how I really feel and how debilitating it is for me is really difficult, If you met me for the first time, other than the permanent rash on my neck you would think that I was fit and able bodied, but this could not be further from the truth, I am still diagnosed as severe depressed and taking 45mg mirtrazopine daily and I know that I have issues that are related to my lupus, but after reading literature on M,E, I think it quite possible and probable that I may also suffer with M,E, The things that sufferers describe and the symptoms they endure do actually describe myself, I have struggled for a long time to describe what I go through, but have now found (I'm sure) the cause, I feel enlightened but need a diagnosis from empathetic people, This would put a form of closer on a huge part of my life if anybody can help me to get out of the gutter I'm currently in, PLEASE, Jeff Morrison
6 January, 2012 at 04:32 - Manchester UK
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